Everyone knows your face, but no one know who you are. Everyone knows how valuable you are, but no one really can give an explanation as to why or what makes your legacy go on. Everyone looks at you but no one sees you for who you are, they don’t know how to look at you. They don’t know your chest is shaped as a heart. They don’t know how inquisitive you are. They don’t see how you’re trying to escape your canvas but the painter is holding you down. They don’t know that the horizon is the center piece of your beauty, that when you look at the painting as a whole, that you can actually see your smile. The don’t know you don’t have a ring on your finger. They don’t realize your right hand is placed over your left to signify your strength and diligence. They don’t see your detail, your beauty, how ever your modest clothing tells a story of who you are.
But that’s the problem with masterpieces like you, although we all see you, no one really takes the time to find out why you are the way you are. I did, and just the way you are is perfect to me. I’d hang you in every room in my house. I wouldn’t ever take you down. I’d position you so you could see the sun rises every morning over the marsh in my back yard. I’d position you on my wall at just the perfect height to where my eye sight was directly in line with your horizon so I could see you smile every day.
26 years and 107 days old today. Ive recently realized im maxed out in my life at this point in time. I know where i am at, i just dont know what to do. What do i focus on? I know how to get out of debt, i like to use a strategy known as the “snowball affect”. Thats when you pay off your first bill and snowball that premium into your next bill and you keep rplling funds into your final biggest debt. Cool, got that down. I found happiness in life can be as simple as minding my own business, more importantly than that, happiness can also be accepting people for who they are. All in all, everyone has a purpose and its none of my business what that purpose is, its just my business to contribute my life to them if needed. Lets talk careers, work hard and know success comes more from what you do not know appossed to what you do know. That was a big one for me but again, its figured out. My career isnt where i want it, but i have the patients to know its coming. Everything will eventually fall into place if im diligent and eager for my next realization, if im ready for my next triumph… Which brings me to my recent and most significant realization thus far; Am i maxed out? I dont mean over loaded with stress, im referring to my experiance of learning in this point in my life… Ive been with my company for two years in the deck department and ive learned one thing and thats how to make my Captains cup of coffee the same color as Alicia Keys, a smudge of milk and one heeping teaspoon of sugar. Ive learned and experianced all I can in my department. Now theres still room to grow in life and in the wheel house, i spend copious amounts of time at the helm and i love it. My problem is, my title remains deckhand and i feel that resorts other people to limit my capabilities based on the bubble im trapped in of being a deckhand. Enough is enough sometimes and i feel like im loosing points on my IQ scale every day i work on deck. Im just not growing anymore and that kills me. Life is about progress, exploring every single thing, the pursuit of happiness and im maxed out where I’m at right now. But what do i do with it? I cant rely on people in my life for growth, theyre maxed out too. They lack the desire to set apart from the crowd. They’re okay with being ordinary… i cant be that or blend in there, i stick out like a sore thumb and get presumed as someone trying to be better than them (in a bad way). What do i do? Where do i go? The best conversation i have now-a-days is with a magnificent 31 year old woman and history books. Yes, i talk back to the author and trust me he’s listening more than some people ive met in my life. I crave knowledge and i crave experiances but where do i find them? I am so exhausted with being a ambitious person and being stuck in a world of mediocrity. Theres a life out there for me to thrive in and i will find it… One day at a time i suppose.
Heres to the overachievers.
Maxim: 20 Cover Songs That Are Better Than the Originals. http://google.com/newsstand/s/CBIw9b_p4CI
Forbes Now: How Small Choices Help You Conquer Big Temptation. http://google.com/newsstand/s/CBIw3-fKwiM
I’m not lonely, there is an abundance of friends and family in my life. I’m always happy, I’m always smilling, I’m always with someone. But do you know what I miss the most? Companionship. Call it weak if you want, after all I’m just a man.
I want to be drug into a mall with my ball of a chain for a girlfriend and forced into holding hands with my best friend, despite how much I hate dealing with that ratchet palm sweat shit. I want to pick on every thing I see on display that I feel is over priced and cheaply made, especially if it’s not made in the U.S of fucking Merica! Speaking of clothes not made in the greatest country in the world, I want to buy her shirts that come across my news feed on fb that she can sport around that support my career as a Merchant Mariner. Because when women do shit like that, they sever the possibility of that entire “you don’t trust me” bullshit. Like, give a man a reason not to trust you… Ya feel? I crave sitting laying down in the Galley holding my phone to.my ear listening to her talk about her day. All the while I’m sitting there diligently watching sports highlights because I missed every game that aired today for College Football. But, still be able to tune into.her conversation with a semi-related statement that ensures her that I’m a diligent listener and that her baby loves her… smh. Nights like tonight, a Saturday I believe, are nights that we good be out at our favorite bar and racking up empty bottle of bud light on the table while making jokes about all the regular basic bitches rubbing their old spice deodorant infested snatch on every dude with a legit Polo on. I mean it’s the simple things in life that really inspire me.
I can imagine the night pursing into a drunken meal prep run to Walmart @ 0200 just because there’s no better time to go to Walmart than when you’re slightly shit faced but coherent enough not to get into a fight with a mannequin for eyeballing your girl. Then, following that with a competitive teeth brushing get together in the bathroom that ends in a argument on who has whiter teeth and a more wore out toothbrush because let’s face it, not one single fuck is given for a human being with smelly breath. Especially before the pre-game sex activities that turn semi violent and end with the neighbors being reassured that the fine ass in apartment 214 is still banging that lucky bastard named Tommie.