Mariners log

Several things come to mind. First off, I’m stoked. I absolutely cannot believe where I’m at with my career. I did it. I mean I really over came the odds. I’m not a statistic. I accomplished so much more than they said I would and I dang sure went further than I thought I could so quickly.

I came from a long line of sinners, my parents are non existent. Yes, I do know them and I contact them regularly. But, I am their son. I have the worst of each of them and that fears me; I don’t know what good qualities they passed along. I think I have my mother’s sense of humor, but it’s for show, It’s not a constant. I have my Dad’s creative ambitious mind. But, I also have my mother’s brains, this leaves me accomplishing things so quickly that I get bored and move on. I’m nomadic with career goals- and relationships. Which is a shame to say the least. My fears are I have my parents short temper. I saw my mother run men into the ground, yet I saw my dad carry on these long term relationships. I don’t know who I am when it comes to this. Honestly, I don’t know right from wrong I feel. Maybe I just have extremely high standards? Maybe I’m just wanting more?…

 If I’m being honest with myself, these are not actual concerns. They can’t be, I won’t allow it. I’m 26, I have an amazingly fulfilling career and I know what I want in life. So what if I expect nothing less than perfect. That’s what’s wrong with society now! They waste too much damn time trying to change something. They get complacent and miserable in their career and lives in general. Holy smokes man, I almost beat myself up thinking I expect too much, the sad reality is its my life and I can want perfection in my life. It’s who I am. I am proud of myself. I will be proud of my job. I will be proud of my wife. I will be proud of our children and we will make an impact on this world. Don’t blame me if you can’t handle that. If it’s not in your cards then fold. 

I am Tommie LEE Hurst, I was ran through defacs as a kid, I was a nomad growing up. I went through 6 highschools three middles schools and 4 elementary schools. I dropped out of high school to get a GED I joined the Marines March 6 2007 and got discharged by 2008. I have 3 dui’s, 2 first offender felonies and a drinking problem when I’m upset. I lost a good career due to alcohol and a pretty decent girl along the way. I picked myself back up and played my hand to the best of my ability. Before I knew it I became an engineer on a 150 foot vessel making more money than I’ve ever made in my life. I trust people who deserve my trust, I love anyone who gets distant from me because in my mind I’m chasing the mother that ran out on me. I can’t watch porn because it makes me self conscious about my body and makes me think women like to be treated the way they’re treated in videos. I don’t like blow jobs because I find them to be disrespectful to a woman I care about. I like cooking dinner. I’m the man that’s going to sneeze in another room because I don’t want to bother you. I tiptoe around the house because I had to sneak around my house as a child not to disrupt my mother in her daily endeavors. I walked around with my tail tucked between my legs for many many years of my life and I still carry my head a little lower than I should. I’m brutally honest just because I hate being lied to. But, most importantly, I’m chasing a “God”. I need something better than myself to beleive in. Mainly because I fail my self repeatedly, and humans. There has to be something out there I can look up to. Something I can rely on. Something I can beleive in.
All in all, I do love me. I love myself so much I’d run across a beach just to run and jump into my own arms. For real. I really do dig myself that much. Mainly because, I know what I can offer this life. I know what I can offer my job, my friends, my family, etc. It’s their job to give me something to lay it all down for. Moral of all of this, love yourself, push yourself And always be great. Don’t let any job, any person, or anything tell you that you expect too much, after all, there’s enough followers in this world. Be the leader you are. Break your own chains and make sacrifices for yourself, the rest will fall into place. So, enjoy the pursuit because once you get to the finish line you’ll realize success didn’t make you, the pursuit did.
TLH

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