The Pyrrhic Victory

Life is a battle. A battle where you may be fortunate enough to make your own decisions and based off those decisions you can can succeed, or crash and burn furiously. A Pyrrhic Victory, which came from Roman times, means that you won something, like a battle, but in order to win, you had to lose so much that you really hadn’t won at all. I think we all have our own form of Pyrrhic victories. Ones victory may be traveling the world and experiencing cultures, but, the loss of your hometown culture was at stake. I myself experiance extreme loss on the hour. For me, every second of my life at sea is a Pyrrhic Victory. I have it all out here, happiness, challenges, victories, self growth, and a substantial salary that I’m okay with. But the truth behind these victories is every moment spent here is one a moment I miss at home. It’s a laugh, a smile, or even a sense of love that someone misses out on from my lack of existence. It’s true, I’ve lost so much from being gone that my success at work isn’t really that phenominal, or is it? When my salt infused days come to a conclusion and I’m laying in my death bed, I’m sure I’ll cover my arthritis filled bones with a blanket of depression at the realization that my best years were spent on a boat made of steal and surrounded by men made of wood. Which reminds me-I remember the days boats where made of wood and the men were made of steal, but that’s beside the fact. The point is this-don’t squander your future. Yes, you’ve been told a hundred thousand times already, but underline the process again.

 Today. Find your meaning in this life. Because, the sad reality is Pyrrhic victories are necessary, they truly are. We as a race have to make sacrifices in order to advance. We have to grow.

 Now, nothing in life is free. I have to spend years at sea. Yes, I’ll regret the times I’ve missed at home with one’s I love and have yet to love, but it’s a necessary victory for the growth behind my failure. So, fail today. I mean crash and burn like it’s your last day. Live your life to the fullest and hope like hell tomorrow comes. Once tomorrow comes, kick back, spend the dollars you’ve earned by the many eager hours spent on the clock. Splurge on that cup of coffee, that shirt, or even them new 400 dollar sound proof Bose headphones. That’s right! Am I the first to say it? In the context of this blog-fail today and live tomorrow. Just make sure your failures make you better than the individual you were yesterday, because at the end of the day, it’s better to fail at something worthwhile than to accomplish something meaningless. 

I just mind fucked my way into success, again.

Tommie L Hurst 

Mariners log

Several things come to mind. First off, I’m stoked. I absolutely cannot believe where I’m at with my career. I did it. I mean I really over came the odds. I’m not a statistic. I accomplished so much more than they said I would and I dang sure went further than I thought I could so quickly.

I came from a long line of sinners, my parents are non existent. Yes, I do know them and I contact them regularly. But, I am their son. I have the worst of each of them and that fears me; I don’t know what good qualities they passed along. I think I have my mother’s sense of humor, but it’s for show, It’s not a constant. I have my Dad’s creative ambitious mind. But, I also have my mother’s brains, this leaves me accomplishing things so quickly that I get bored and move on. I’m nomadic with career goals- and relationships. Which is a shame to say the least. My fears are I have my parents short temper. I saw my mother run men into the ground, yet I saw my dad carry on these long term relationships. I don’t know who I am when it comes to this. Honestly, I don’t know right from wrong I feel. Maybe I just have extremely high standards? Maybe I’m just wanting more?…

 If I’m being honest with myself, these are not actual concerns. They can’t be, I won’t allow it. I’m 26, I have an amazingly fulfilling career and I know what I want in life. So what if I expect nothing less than perfect. That’s what’s wrong with society now! They waste too much damn time trying to change something. They get complacent and miserable in their career and lives in general. Holy smokes man, I almost beat myself up thinking I expect too much, the sad reality is its my life and I can want perfection in my life. It’s who I am. I am proud of myself. I will be proud of my job. I will be proud of my wife. I will be proud of our children and we will make an impact on this world. Don’t blame me if you can’t handle that. If it’s not in your cards then fold. 

I am Tommie LEE Hurst, I was ran through defacs as a kid, I was a nomad growing up. I went through 6 highschools three middles schools and 4 elementary schools. I dropped out of high school to get a GED I joined the Marines March 6 2007 and got discharged by 2008. I have 3 dui’s, 2 first offender felonies and a drinking problem when I’m upset. I lost a good career due to alcohol and a pretty decent girl along the way. I picked myself back up and played my hand to the best of my ability. Before I knew it I became an engineer on a 150 foot vessel making more money than I’ve ever made in my life. I trust people who deserve my trust, I love anyone who gets distant from me because in my mind I’m chasing the mother that ran out on me. I can’t watch porn because it makes me self conscious about my body and makes me think women like to be treated the way they’re treated in videos. I don’t like blow jobs because I find them to be disrespectful to a woman I care about. I like cooking dinner. I’m the man that’s going to sneeze in another room because I don’t want to bother you. I tiptoe around the house because I had to sneak around my house as a child not to disrupt my mother in her daily endeavors. I walked around with my tail tucked between my legs for many many years of my life and I still carry my head a little lower than I should. I’m brutally honest just because I hate being lied to. But, most importantly, I’m chasing a “God”. I need something better than myself to beleive in. Mainly because I fail my self repeatedly, and humans. There has to be something out there I can look up to. Something I can rely on. Something I can beleive in.
All in all, I do love me. I love myself so much I’d run across a beach just to run and jump into my own arms. For real. I really do dig myself that much. Mainly because, I know what I can offer this life. I know what I can offer my job, my friends, my family, etc. It’s their job to give me something to lay it all down for. Moral of all of this, love yourself, push yourself And always be great. Don’t let any job, any person, or anything tell you that you expect too much, after all, there’s enough followers in this world. Be the leader you are. Break your own chains and make sacrifices for yourself, the rest will fall into place. So, enjoy the pursuit because once you get to the finish line you’ll realize success didn’t make you, the pursuit did.
TLH